Application #1 Response Paper

It came as no surprise that my self-esteem score is an "average" 39. While I seldom feel overjoyed about the "me" that I am, I still feel like a good, well-rounded person with fewer problems and issues than many others.

There are several things I would change about myself if I could. My weight and body image leave me less-than-confident in social situations. I believe that most people are more attractive than I am, and I am sure I communicate with less confidence because of it. I feel that people look at me and see a very overweight woman as opposed to a kind, generous, and intelligent woman. As a result, I try to overcompensate. I rely on humor to cover my lack of comfort. I also try to please people to the extent that I frustrate myself trying make others happy.

My worries and anxieties surrounding work and family relationships and responsibilities often leave me feeling inadequate. In 2001, I received the Educator of the Year award from Columbus State University - a student-nominated award. Even so, I continuously wonder if I am doing as well in my career as I could. I remain a bit bothered by the fact that I am "only" employed part-time and that I contribute far less to the household on a monetary level. I articulate this concern to my husband who is quick to remind me about the litany of ways I contribute that have no monetary value, yet are "priceless".

While I see myself as a passionate and caring person, I recognize from my self-concept worksheet that I could improve my communication of anger. I would like to work on expressing my anger more appropriately. Specifically, I would like to improve on the way I express it, ensuring that it is warranted, and that it is expressed to the proper individual and that it is well timed and communicated with a degree of respect. It will be challenging to do this, as I've learned my patterns of communicating anger from my father who remains a very angry person on many levels. Still, I read books (i.e. "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman)and study Biblical scriptures related to anger (Mark, for example). I also receive good feedback from my friend Megan who is honest with her assessment of situations and my responses to them. I plan to carefully assess myself regarding my anger, and allow myself adequate time and space to make changes that can be enduring.