Application #3 Assignment

“THE LIST” of Partner and Relationship Requirements

****NOTE**** No "response paper" needed - just your list assignment.

Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eharmony.com, and author of Date or Soul Mate tells us that we should all have a list of “Must Have’s” and “Can’t Stands” when it comes to selecting a life partner. If you were to think about your field of potential eligibles, which characteristics are most important to you? What qualities must be present in your partner no matter what? What behaviors or characteristics will you not tolerate under any circumstances? If you don’t know what you are looking for, how will you know when you have found it? Worse yet, how would you know if someone would be a bad fit for you in the long run?

If you have a partner, think about what you currently get that you would never give up. Likewise, think about that which you do not have in your relationship, but would like (or like to improve). If you do not yet have a life partner, here is your chance to commit to choosing well in the future.

1) Begin by creating a list of at least 50 items (more if you like) that are either “Must Have’s” or “Can’t Stands”. Choose wisely – if you could ONLY guarantee these few things, would you select the ones you listed?

2) Then place your preferences into categories. Below is a list of potential categories for you to begin with.

3) Have at least 1 “Must Have” and 1 “Can’t Stand” for each category listed below, and for any other category you add to the list. Create new headings for yourself as you think about the kind of partner you want and need.

4) Be as specific as possible and provide details and examples where necessary for clarification. There should be no doubt left with what you want. Save the list as an electronic file, as you will be editing your list throughout the semester.

5) When you are done with your list, rank order your top ten choices in each category by placing a number by each one. So, beside the most important item in your “Must Have” and “Can’t Stand” list, write #1, then #2 beside the second most important, and so on – until you’ve identified your top 10 “Must Haves” as well as your top 10 “Can’t Stands” that are on your master list.


Personality Variables
Physical Characteristics
Education
Work
Food
Conflict Resolution
Friendship
Time
Communication
In-Law Relationships
Extended Family Relationships
Travel
Clothing/Dress/Grooming
Money/Finances
Parenting Issues
Nurturing/Caregiving
Affection/Touch
Intimacy
Sexuality
Living Arrangements
Pets/Animals
Roles/Responsibilities
Religion/Spirituality
Taboos
Health/Illness
Recreation/Sports/Entertainment